Just another day.....

Well, I came on pooter so I can go on MSN and chat with my best bud, but the darn thing won't sign me in. Poo-ey!

So I thought I will update instead on the subject of last Sunday. After much thinking, crying and talking to ppl who matter to me most, I came to a decision that perhaps I could talk to mum abt not going off meds and just relying on faith healing. I would like it if she did both hand in hand. That was what upset me the most on Sunday on the subject of religion, I guess. So in case you didn't get why I was so upset previously, it is coz mainly of the meds issue. SHe has not done it yet but she is going for the faith healing soon etc. I was also concerned that my mum and my younger siblings have become a much more stricter Christian than I remember and I was afraid that they would change far too much for me to understand them as I am so far away from home and won't see or go through the change with them. Truth of is, I don't want my mum's condition to deteriote and obviously I don't want to lose her so soon. I may be selfish but I am not ready to let her go just yet. I do mean it when I say I am glad she has found stronger spiritual support and guidance to cope with the cruel blow of life she has been led to live. I still hate my stepdad for what he has done and I doubt that I can ever forgive him properly. I should be a bigger person and leave those baggage behind, but maybe one day I will be able to. For now, I can only have mum to think of. I don't expect many of you to understand or bother to read this, but thanks anyway for hugs and just being there.

So my dear folks, this is just something I needed to write. I never want to forget this specific time coz it will remind me that I need to accept whatever it is out there more readily even though it sucks big time. And I would not have come through this without Paul and you, Heidee. Thanks for the support and putting up with typical me.

But apart from this, I am still me and still as silly, so never fear! ;)